Hello fellow seekers.. I am embracing these teachings fully, I've written blogs (see profile) on my processes but one thing I'd like to put out to this group particularly is this:
Do you find that there are people in your life you can no longer associate with? I find myself questioning who my friends really are and/or not being able to be around certain people any longer. I don't feel the need to explain to them WHY I cannot hang out with them as you cant change them or help them. Which only underlines how alone you are in the world. Which is something we all face at one point or another but usually put out of our minds and create friendships out of need. I no longer have that need but I do feel lonely at times that I cannot share this new awareness with those I have previously shared everything with.
When I'm with my so called "friends" I find myself sometimes falling back into the roles I once played for them.. engaging in their ego driven drama.. creating problems to talk about myself even.. without this, we might not have anything to talk about.. so instead I just find myself avoiding these people all together.
I only hope that now I will begin to attract relationships that are good for me or positive in nature. I believe this will happen eventually but right now, it can feel lonely.
Or, perhaps once I get to a certain strength spiritually, I will be able to communicate with these people again.. on what level that will be I dont know.
Do you find that there are people in your life you can no longer associate with? I find myself questioning who my friends really are and/or not being able to be around certain people any longer. I don't feel the need to explain to them WHY I cannot hang out with them as you cant change them or help them. Which only underlines how alone you are in the world. Which is something we all face at one point or another but usually put out of our minds and create friendships out of need. I no longer have that need but I do feel lonely at times that I cannot share this new awareness with those I have previously shared everything with.
When I'm with my so called "friends" I find myself sometimes falling back into the roles I once played for them.. engaging in their ego driven drama.. creating problems to talk about myself even.. without this, we might not have anything to talk about.. so instead I just find myself avoiding these people all together.
I only hope that now I will begin to attract relationships that are good for me or positive in nature. I believe this will happen eventually but right now, it can feel lonely.
Or, perhaps once I get to a certain strength spiritually, I will be able to communicate with these people again.. on what level that will be I dont know.
posted by:
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SF Bay Area
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Re: loneliness
Fri, May 9, 2008 - 2:25 PMI do not believe we ever disconnect completely from those relationships we move on from....thats the reason I believe you can feel the loneliness. Its the full presence of those individuals, that can challenge us to grow, including a possible need to move out and away from them. I am just begining this tribe and the new connections...I am looking forward to new thoughts and concepts.
Blessings!
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Re: loneliness
Fri, May 9, 2008 - 2:54 PMI've seen this happen many times in my life and in the lives of my friends and colleagues. We are always attracted to those who resonate with us on some level. When you start to futz with your own inner consciousness (i.e. grow spiritually), eventually there is a change and if your friends aren't making similar changes, then the resonance will die out and eventually there's nothing keeping you together.
At some point, you will make new friends who share your newly developed values. In the meantime, it can be lonely because you're basically "in between friends." It takes courage and fortitude to get this far, so you just need to draw upon that same inner strength to stay strong while you wait for and/or look for new connections.
Good luck to you! I'm sure you'll meet some really amazing people soon. :)
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Re: loneliness
Sat, May 10, 2008 - 5:45 PMthank you for expressing what i have been noticing... this limbo place of not being sociable in the old ways i used to be.
it has led to quite a bit of isolation lately, alternating with awkwardness / discomfort in social situations that i used to be so at home in. three tendencies i have noticed are: increased tenderness/sensitivity (e.g. to loudness, light, drama), decreased interest in the sexual games i used to like, and an inability to fake anything. the direction seems to be towards total transparency, with no filters. that can get pretty messy at work, and fairly unattractive socially. and yet... that is what is happening. i accept it, but have got to wonder, is this it? i admit i am hoping there another social / sexual phase that follows, where everything is integrated. -
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Re: loneliness
Sun, May 11, 2008 - 9:10 AMThis happens as we grow. When I stopped being a party girl; all those friends fell away. Soon I cultivated new friends. When those friends and I grew apart, I sought out others who were going the direction I was going. As my many interests as paths have changed, I have found many companions to walk with. Sometimes you walk a while alone. But that give you a chance to get to really know yourself. The hardest person to have loving compassion for is yourself.
My greatest lesson has been that if I am the kind of person I want to be with, soon those kind of people will join me too. -
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Re: loneliness
Fri, May 16, 2008 - 8:46 AM>>>My greatest lesson has been that if I am the kind of person I want to be with, soon those kind of people will join me too.
Yes. Thanks for posting that, Laura. I'm still learning it.
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Re: loneliness
Sun, May 11, 2008 - 11:07 AM
Veronica,
I know what you mean.
I've been fortunate enough to have a couple mostly awake friends. It is so painful while sharing and speaking from this one-ness as two people when all of a sudden a pattern strikes up in the other person, then they 1.) disconnect 2.) put up mental barrier ... that intimacy of one-ness gets killed
so, what I mean to say is that even if you had such friends, loneliness is still there
I've found nature to be a good friend, much better than I ever thought
since consciousness itself is how we share in intimacy... it is regardless of plant, animal, human as all are from consciousness
this can deepen your knowledge to discover the many beings which live only in consciousness, i.e. non physical... then the world starts getting much much bigger... though that can also be disconnected from the common world... so I found nature to be a good in-between friend.
you can also be-friend the planets and communicate with them, start with the earth and the sun, move onto the moon, then keep going from there. One way is to just feel them, specifically try to see if you can resonate your vibration with them... quiet energizing. A world of revelations awaits... Eckhart doesn't seem to talk much about that; perhaps because he's focused on the shift in global consciousness.
If you focus on growing your knowledge of Consciousness... be feeling and communicating with plants, trees, flowers, animals... soon you can begin to learn how to focus on consciousness itself. It won't be long before you can understand all sorts of things regardless of language.
We are alone so long as we think that language is our means to connect, though language is quiet limited in whom we can speak with.
If you seek consciousness as a method for intimacy, well... your have the whole to be intimate with.
Not to over "spiritualize", yes, some people will just fall away from your life as no longer there will be the stickiness/tension between them and you... you will no longer have karma with them... so you will begin to make friends based on dharma... you will move from making friends based on attachments (commonalities) to non-attachment.
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Re: loneliness
Sun, May 11, 2008 - 1:04 PMthanks all..
and yes ramiel.. nature is wonderful but we cannot deny the need for human interaction or physical intimacy. which brings me to relationships.. i have a total aversion to casual sex now as well (along with aversions to anything bad for me ;). i cannot even think about who i will meet that is right for me. if i thought dating was hard before.. jeez...
but like the laws of attraction say (and tolle touches on) you cannot come from a place of lack.. in order to attract what you really want you have to feel like you already have it. very hard when your going to bed alone every night. what i do instead is think back to all the lovers i've had. i realize i have enough memories to go on for the rest of my life probably! LOL..
i also trust that universe provides.. though i dont believe that everyone is fortunate enough to find their true love in one lifetime.
i see there are spiritual dating sites and i just have to laugh.. has anyone tried those? -
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Re: loneliness
Sun, May 11, 2008 - 1:45 PM
Dear Veronica,
I too like I'm sure many know the feeling of loneliness in terms of physical and emotional intimacy... gosh I would really like some of that right now too... though the challenge and lesson for me has been to see myself as being able to give what I need to myself. Here's an example of how I do this (rubber meets the road):
step 1- I have feeling of desire for intimacy. my heart hurts, my body almost cries for the desire to be intimate, the mind thinks I'm a great guy, I'm healthy in every manner though I'm so busy with work and plus I'm not so good at meeting strangers.. kind of scarred of it... though I have this dire need, so much it hurts when I remember, it even made me tear by myself in bed.
step 2- I realize that just as I can be the lover who provides this love to another, this quality of lover and beloved both exists within me. I also see that just I can be the father of a child, so I can give the same father love to myself. I also see that just as I know what mother-love is, I likely also have impression of this. So what can I do with this?
step 3- using imagination and intention to be self-referenced and whole (non co-dependent) I imagine a beautiful woman lover with the background intention that this is being created by my own energy and it is the perfect fit for me, as I know my own needs better than anyone else. Then I imagine myself being this beautiful attractive seductive sensual and spiritual woman giving all forms of her (my) love to ramiel. Then I switch perspectives to being ramiel (me the guy) receiving all of her love, then again I switch to being her and loving ramiel.
step 4- as I keep switching from the two, all of a sudden I feel my heart pain is gone, my emotional body feels like it is filled with liquid warm love throughout my entire body... and I begin touching myself with total attraction... an experience I never had... I just realize that I found the feminine lover energy within myself... and now I no longer feel the intense-need for this love... and from this point... finding a lover isn't for the sake of surviving, but rather for sharing and joy....
step 5- I'm still alone... but I can handle it better... and after realizing this I ended up dating a few woman, had some fun... then life again got super busy with work and I had it put it on break... I can bare it now.... the need is just not so intense... though my ability to love and appreciate a woman is more in quality and far less in dependence... which has another problem... finding a lover friend who isn't trying to have her needs met by me, rather is just wanting to share in joy.... that is also rare.
step 6- the wait continues... but that's ok :-)
with love,
ramiel
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Re: loneliness
Sun, May 11, 2008 - 2:26 PM
Elton John's "I want love" youtube.com/watch
inspiring song "love is all around me" youtube.com/watch
and something funny youtube.com/watch -
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Re: loneliness
Mon, June 9, 2008 - 10:57 PMI remind myself at time that my purpose in life is not to be loved but to be love.
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